electric relaxation

I present for your consideration this posting from Thrillist (and yes, I should unsubcribe from this dogshit newsletter and no, I don’t have a good reason for why I’m on it in the first place):

There aren’t many places in the Mission where a man can shop
for gear, unless that man is a pimp, a mariachi, or a house
painter. For a store that doesn’t announce your profession,
try Density, opening today.

Themed to feel like part of the City (sidewalk floors, goods
arranged by “Downtown”/”Midtown”/”Uptown”), Density’s
clothes reflect the vintage and streetwear styles worn so
proudly by Mission hipsters, and so accidentally by Mission
crackheads. Highlights include tees from SF’s Free Gold
Watch, emo-prep from Shades of Greige, and authentic western
button-downs from Panhandle Slim — shirts that’re typically
only found at the bottom of thrift-store barrels, still
smelling like the cowboys who died in them (cause: dogies).
Density also stocks a sweet selection of under-$80 denim,
and’re coming out with an in-house clothing line called
Citystate — possibly referring to a San Francisco
secessionist movement, sure to be opposed by 4% of Americans.

Though Mission-centric, Density’s planning parties to
celebrate the world’s fashion capitals (Paris,
Milan…Paris); and since the store’s owner founded The
Independent, expect top-notch DJs, musicians, and
paint-splattered mariachis escorting dates they’d part with
for, say, $50?

To whoever wrote this: I realize this is supposed to be funny. But you’re a douchebag, and you should jump in front of a bus and spare me the trouble of running you over with my car. Fuck you, fuck hipsters and plaid shirts, fuck Thrillist, fuck the Mission, and fuck gentrification. And since I’m part of the problem, fuck me.